Preheat oven to 350 degrees…

Rethinking the whole Nursing thing. Nurses DO eat their young. They eat everything and everyone in sight too. And whats funny is, when they eat ME I am old and stringy. Got way too much fat too.

One can only hope that when they DO eat me, they succumb eventually to heart disease. Yeah that is bitchy and mean but I have a philosophy on that too, FUCK em!

Here is an example of Nursing cannibalism.  I am at work the other night. Shortly after the beginning of the shift, one of the aides on the neediest of the two floors I am charged with providing care to, asked me to come look at a resident.  She wanted to show me how a resident, a former Rockette, with advanced Alzheimers, was being put to bed. Specifically in the “incontinence product” department.  The aide stated that the resident has frequently been found with her brief that has a pad placed inside as well, was being applied incorrectly.  This was causing the lady to become wet, and who knows the last time the poor woman had been checked.  She was probably put into bed at 7:30 p.m. and she is the first one checked at Midnight, after I have given the aides a report on the state of the residents, as I have just gotten it.

I saw with my own eyes that had she been a man, her set up, was perfect. Since she is indeed a female, not so much. The aide, a Graduate Practical Nurse, awaiting her board exam, as is the other Full time aide that works with her, had already instructed the “evening staff” on the proper placement, but of course, she was ignored.

I wrote a note.

The note was NOT on “company” paper, but plain. I worded the note as professionally and politely as I could, while stressing the importance of the appropriate placement. In it I ask that “Perhaps the 3-11 supervisor could instruct the aides on appropriate placement to help allow the resident to be comfortable….”.

Apparently, I had some fucking nerve.  The 6:30 a.m. Nurse we will just from here on in refer to her as Crotch, ( I would so love to use another C word here, but I am a fucking lady) Crotch came in and SHE read the note. Crotch said nothing, I now assume because she was plotting some ingenious way to do me in, because that next night, boy, was I sorry I left that fucking note.

Crotch had already set me up to have even MORE difficulty not only my first week there with the med book change, but also for the remainder of the time I will remain there. I already administer an abundance of medications on my shift, on TWO floors, but she saw to it that I had a whole lot more, Three pages more in fact, and anything she just did not FEEL like doing. But she also made it well known on the med book change night that she left the “three hardest patients for ME to do.”

See, that kills me. I have TWO floors, the two neediest in the facility to care for, and the day nurses see to it that they make everything they find annoying or inconvenient left for ME. I don’t mind working, but I would just like consideration for also having the same TITLE as them. I just chose Nights, because I chose to avoid the daytime bitch drama.

I should note that in the case of Crotch, less than a week earlier, I discovered she had made an error. It is part of my job. I have to look at the record, and look for errors, count cells on medicine “blister packs” and ensure no one fucked it up. Well, I found an issue that she had made. Not a huge one, but enough to call her and tell her what I was going to do. Since it was not an issue where a person would be harmed, I corrected it. If I had reported it, she would have been in some trouble. I was sure that having done this, her sight that she has set on running me out, as sneaky as she THINK she is being, would be LOWERED at least for a while.

I got less than six days out of that. Shame on ME.

Well the note garnered more than getting a stronger site for the rifle she had aimed at me. She switched her weapon. She would make ME suffer by making the residents and the aides working with me suffer. She would also turn the staff NOT on the shift with me against me too.

And I am the nicest motherfucker there.

She showed my note to EVERYONE. Told the aides what I am sure amounted to, “Can you believe the BALLS of this bitch? She thinks your all stupid, you know the aide put her up to this… lets teach them all a lesson.”

She apparently worked on the 3-11pm Nurse too. Also turns out she lied to the newly appointed administrator, and she made it so that EVERY single resident that has issues with incontinence, which is like 99% all were put to bed with NO products to keep them dry and comfortable. Including TWO who are dying on Hospice care.

They were all pissing their beds all night long. Ironically I was not the Nurse that night. So, part of her plan, which would have worked better for her if I had been, well, was a bust. My friend, an RN was the Nurse that night, as I occasionally do have assistance.  My friend held a position there before. She had left due to the need to work nights because of family issues, so we will be working together a few times a week.  That night I was going to offer her the easier of the two floors or we could both work both, so she became familiar with the two of them. She was,  however, instructed to take the heavier floor. I suspect because the floor is such a train wreck that they wanted a GOOD RN to see it and make changes. SHE was there that night.  She saw what they did. She had plenty to tell the administrator the next morning too.

The gentleman on hospice on that floor even asked one of the aides through the ordeal, “Why are you treating me worse than a prison inmate why are you making me go through this? This is so undignified” This is a gentleman in his 90s mentally still quite sharp, physically has what most would expect for a man his age.  He also has a very bad case of Chronic Cystitis, which is bad bladder inflammation. So much so that he frequently urinates copious amounts of blood.

I feel HORRENDOUS that he had to suffer so. All night when I saw an aide come to the first floor, or when I had a cigarette break with my friend, I was repeatedly saying “I am sooo sorry this is all my fault, I should not have written that note.” Everyone said “You’re crazy this has nothing to do with a note.”

Well they said that til morning anyway.  The aide who asked I look at the resident the night I wrote the note, asked an aide that had come in the morning, and had worked the evening shift the night before, “Why the hell did you guys leave everyone like that for last night, that was neglect of every single resident you know, it was Crotch wasn’t it?”

The answer was “NOPE, it was the note Overnight left” How fucking beautiful. Question, why would a nurse, show a note, not even intended for HER to the aides? She wanted them to get pissed. I am sure it was “See she thinks your stupid.” Then she probably did similar with the 3-11 Nurse.

I just could not believe that someone could be such a CROTCH. I would have been much less disturbed with my tires slashed. A dead animal or a pile of shit on the front seat of my car, would have been better. She not only ALLOWED but plotted and abused 16 residents to teach ME “my place”.

The administrator was pretty pissed off when she came in and saw what REALLY happened. The aide had filled her in on the note I had left the day before. She did not know about it. She was said to have apologized to the aide repeatedly. How about the RESIDENTS?

Crotch had the “day after” off. I am sure she had planned for it to be that way. She is cunning. She is a fucking idiot when it comes to writing or reading anything NURSING related, but the fact that she is taking her RN now, she will probably get over it.

Crotch did have to work YESTERDAY though.  I was on too. Her floor even. She came in with this elaborate bullshit story too. All about her getting these pissed off phone calls “On her day off, and how they must have “misunderstood”. Whatever.

The day of the note, I had also inquired about an error with an order. I asked HER because according to the fucked up system there, it appeared that someone ELSE had done the error, Bringing her error to HER, just gave her the chance to cover it up. I had also written a note to the administrator because a resident on that floor was VERY unhappy about some important issues that Crotch was supposed to have taken care of, yet hadn’t and when the resident inquired all she got in return was nasty remarks. I did not even MENTION that the resident had made the Crotch aware in my note to the administrator. I did hear from the resident, :”Thank you! I don’t know what you did, or who you know, but all that stuff I asked for is DONE! And BOY was Crotch mad at me all day! When she didn’t avoid me, she just gave me dirty looks!” That was on the night of the payback incident.  I had to go to that floor to get something and the aides were getting her up. I had mentioned that “I at least got started on her problem” when she offered me the Thanks.

I don’t know if that contributed to the “payback”. But here is the thing, WHO wouldn’t reconsider, “Why the fuck did I become a Nurse?” When you consistently run into stuff like that? Florence Nightingale, is probably spinning in her grave.

Now I am thinking of wearing Cooking instructions on my scrubs.

Nurses are hungry gals…they DO eat their young, but they also devour their coworkers, and they use their patients sometimes as side dishes.

Definitely considering going back to retail. Or maybe something safe like lion tamer. Crash Test dummy, explosives,  Nuclear waste disposal….